Song #29: Be Free

There's always another side to the story.

A friend of mine this week reminded me that most "lost love" songs are from the perspective of the one who has been broken up with. What about the one who had to do the heartbreaking?

We often think that the one who ended things is in control and walks off mostly unscathed, but that is far from the truth. It can be a hot mess of emotions for both parties. The irony is - the singer here doesn't hate the person he's breaking up with... not at all. There's still genuine love and concern for the one he's leaving behind. But he also senses that it's not right enough to continue, even as the other person is trying everything they can to keep it from dying.

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

don't let yourself believe
this is all easy on me
just because I'm the one who chose to leave
doesn't mean that I missed out on all the guilt and the grief

I don't want to be cold but I'm all ice
'cause if I let you in or even just be nice
you get your hopes up
and we both know
that this ain't right
so if it has to be me: I love you, be free

the truth is it was killing me to stay
so for now, dear, this is the only way
and though I've nothing bad to say
there's some walls I'm going to have to put into place

I don't want to be cold but I'm all ice
'cause if I let you in or just even be nice
you get your hopes up
and we both know
that this isn't right
and if it has to be me: I love you, be free

I don't think you're listening to me: I'm done
it was not meant to be, though we had fun
maybe one day you'll see: I still love you...

be free...

Song #28: Strange Love

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!” [Jack Kerouac]

It's been said that the opposite of fear is love. And though it's human nature to make the majority of life decisions based (subtly) on fear, I've been lucky enough to know a handful of people who have chosen to live a life that is moved more by the power of love. These are the unique ones: those who march to a different drummer, those who swim against the current and who make their own way. We find ourselves attracted to these people because they do what most are afraid to do: buck convention and make the choice to live freely from passion, or a deep love for life, rather than from conditioning.

This is a strange, unusual little song for those who need the encouragement to live out of that kind of strange, unusual love.

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

There's something in the way that we move
Something in the things that we choose
Like how we live as if there's nothing left to lose
That stirs them up inside
There's something in the way that we live
Something in the way that we give
The way we turned our backs and took our own path
That gives them hope for life

So let the haters be hatin'
This is the road that we're takin
It's not the path they created
Like hell, we just made it
like cheese we be gratin'
On all the nerves of the straight
But don't be jealous or fake it
We just used what we're made of

Watch us rock the stage we give everything we've got
We are everything you want, we are everything they're not
What are you afraid of? Would you like to join us?
So stand up make it known just what it is that you want
All we have is yours and all we have is fun
Then bury all that old stuff; come on now and join us
Those living with a strange love

Song #27: So Much

"The simplest things are often the truest." [Richard Bach]

LYRICS:

in place of all the things I don't say
here's a few words and chords that I know how to play
and a simple recourse
so I'll keep this short

there is so much I want to tell you
there is so much I need to say to you

don't know where to start, my thoughts aren't formed
just like a child with a thousand piece puzzle spilled out on the floor
but when the timing is right,
one day I'll sit you right down by my side because

there is so much I want to tell you
there is so much I need to say to you

there's my simple recourse
promised I'd keep it short, just know that

there is so much I want to tell you
there is so much I need to say to you

Song #26: I'm Ready

There's a lot going on in this song, but to me the essence of "I'm Ready" speaks to knowing that something isn't quite right but still being drawn to it. It's about making your bed in the confusion... the lure of the forbidden... the play between resistance and secretly longing to have your self-protective walls blasted through.

I was privileged this week to have worked with a cowriter - Orlando, FL artist, painter, model, yogini and all around beautiful soul Julie Sandifer, who penned these lyrics and helped in the creative process. Julie infuses wisdom and passion into all of her art, which is made obvious in these powerful words. If you would like to see more of Julie's work, click to visit her blog or paintings.

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

so here I am again. ready. I think I'm ready.
who ever said that love was supposed to be so pure and healthy?
there's love in the chaos; love in the greedy need
how do we forget the past when the memories are so deep?

some hearts open slowly
mine is open freely
but it shuts quickly

I invite you in. you don't want me. you want in.
I can't want you - what is this?
simple it is not. fearless it is not. intense it is.

so here I am again. ready. I think I'm ready
turn me on. turn it off. i need both.
earthy, lusty, - more more more
stay close. encourage me to let go. my heart is full.

dedicated and all is love
somethings are not meant to be figured out, right love?
so tell me; I want you to tell me

I invite you in. you don't want me. you want in.
I can't want you - what is this?
simple it is not. fearless it is not. intense it is.

no symmetry, lovesick lover
be worthy. try harder.
you can't go wrong.
do more more more -

I invite you in. you don't want me. you want in.
I can't want you - what is this?
simple it is not. fearless it is not. intense it is.

so here I am again. ready. I think I'm ready.
I hope I never have to say goodbye.

Song #25: The King

"Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye named, not good."
[John Milton]

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

Roll in the driveway
and place it in park
There isn't a light on
The house is all dark
There's nobody home
and I pretend it doesn't matter
but it does

No snoring little babies
tucked up under blankies
No one through the window
Or assuring embraces
No "I'm glad to see you"
and I pretend it's for a reason
but it's not

So I pour me a whisky
and get a little bit silly
because if I start to thinking
who knows where that will take me

I picked up my ink pen
to write up this song
and I just keep on writing
so the music won't stop
'cause when the music ain't playing
all I can hear is the fridge
and the dogs

So I toss back more whisky
before I start wondering if you miss me
And if this is how it's got to be
At least I can set myself free

This is a cell
My own private silent hell
This is my life, serving my time, these are my shackles
And here I am king
For as far as the eye can see this is my land,
and I am the king of an empty castle

So I strip down to nothing
and lie in my bed
there's a space on the mattress
there's a buzz in my head
The quiet gets louder
and I pretend it doesn't matter
but it does

This quiet gets louder
and I pretend it doesn't matter
but it does

Song #24: Ellipses

"It's so easy to think about love, to talk about love, to wish for love... but it's not always easy to recognize love, even when we hold it...
in our hands." [Jaka]

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

when words become ellipses
when knowing glances become kisses
you can't miss it
when all day long you listen
to dreams that say "you'll be his Mrs."
and oh the kisses
that's when you'll know

when you come home some evening
to find that love makes life worth living
are you kidding?
that's when you'll know

when you find that your guy
is quite unlike who came before
and in his presence you are not less, you are more

when you tell all your friends about him
and well up with pride because of who he is
it may be it
that's when you'll know

when words become ellipses
when knowing glances become kisses
you can't miss it
that's when you'll know

Song #23: Not Enough

Over the past few weeks, I've had conversations with two men - one who is going through a divorce and another who recently did. I kept hearing the same two themes emerge: one, that they were both trying everything they could to do the right thing, hold their marriages together and to show love even as their (ex-)spouse was struggling and/or being destructive; and two, that because their efforts weren't being accepted, it dealt such a heavy blow to their self-worth. Since in this project I had promised to explore all of the angles of love, I felt drawn to flesh out this experience in song, as difficult as that may be.

This was a hard song to write and I'm sure is a hard one to listen to. It's not unlike watching Requiem for a Dream - sitting through it once is probably enough. I had to go deep and get to an emotional space that I've known very well but not really wanted to return to. That said, the purpose of this piece is not in any way to glorify a defeated and self-doubting perspective; in time people move out of this stage and realize their worth is independent of their circumstances. Rather, this is a "snapshot" in time, a musical picture of a dark and raw reality... for the sake of artistic observation as well as catharsis. Almost like being physically ill, sometimes it's only by purging the darkness through expressing it (in writing, in song, in conversation) that we make room for the light and life to return again.

PLAY:

LYRICS:

She is fading, she's fading fast
And I've felt hurt before, but no hurt quite like this
'cause I see her hanging, she's just hanging on
In my strength, all i have; dear just please take my arm

And I know I can't save you
don't pretend I can
But I can't just stand by and
not extend a hand

But part of me
Hates the part of me
That gives a shit at all

She is struggling, she's scraping by
But she's too damned hardheaded to let me by her side
I am trying, maybe I should stop
When your love is unwelcomed, when do you finally give up?

My shit is not enough (for you)

It is not enough

My love is not enough

My time... not enough

My care... not enough

Love is not enough for you

Love...

Song #22: You Just Are

Friends who have followed my music over the years may possibly recognize this week's song. "You Just Are" is a piece I wrote and performed with the Trev Diesel band 6+ years ago, but since I was never able to record it, I decided to bring it in to the One Love, One Year anthology.

While most of my songs are thematically specific, this is one of the most vague that I've posted. I'm not going to go into specifics about my interpretation of these lyrics except to say this: it isn't so much about human/relational love as it is about the "capital-L" Love that holds the universe together, helps us know who we are and gives our lives direction.

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

seems like only yesterday
we were standing on the frontier of our future
three friends and I taking rides in a beat up old car
and Sammie slinks low in her seat
and turns up the music.
(we think she'll go far
and shoot like a star over this pitiful city)

will you know it when you see it?
will your eyes be opened far
when forever meets you in the present
melting time and space and suddenly
you just are
so love, child, love

and she held on dearly to all that we were
even if at times making us all a little bit batty
and her daddy woke up before the sun did every day
and drove all the way to the city
and now we know, we know what they were living for

Song #21: You (Don't) Complete Me

While it's a romantic notion to consider someone as your "other half", I wonder if that's the healthiest way to live out your days with someone, Jerry Maguire. If a significant other is where you go for soul-level fulfillment or to fill an incomplete void in you, that's a scary setup for both parties and tees the ball up for some major disappointment sooner or later. You've got to find that outside and then re-enter the relationship with strength and an attitude that says "I'm here to give" - otherwise it's just need and codependency and all that messy stuff.

**In order to give credit where it is due, the lyric "You make my heart skip, but you don't make it beat" was my inspiration for this song and was penned by writer and good buddy Benjamin Madrid. He blogs song lyrics and other musings HERE - go check him out.

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

You, you don't complete me
But you completely light up my sky
You, you don't fulfill me
But, girl, you thrill me every night

I chose you out of my strength, not out of need
You make my heart skip, but you don't make it beat

And everything you are to me is so good,
But I've got a confession
The only way I'm every thing I am to you
Is 'cause I've got a bigger mission

You, you don't make me,
But we'll be ok, see?
Because it's right
It's true that you relieve me
But if you must leave me
I'll be just fine

I chose you out of my strength, not out of need
You make my heart skip, but you don't make it beat

And everything you are to me is so good,
But I've got a confession
The only way I'm every thing I am to you
Is 'cause I've got a bigger mission

If there's a void inside your soul
Just know that I will never fill that hole

Song #18: Maps

The labor process of birthing a song this week was the equivalent of pushing out a 15 pounder with no anesthetics. It began with lyrics I had about second chances but after the instrumental tracks evolved, I found that the words and the music did not go together. At all.

And I realized this at 5pm on Sunday.

With only a few short hours left I threw away the previous vocal tracks and attempted to write new lyrics, using two of my friends as sounding boards to help come up with ideas. The music I had written reminded me of a California road trip, so we got to work weaving some lyrics together around that. By the time I had some something in place it was late and I was frustrated, so I recorded the vocal track and called it a night.

All of that said, I in no way feel this song is complete. The chorus words just aren't there, the flow is too chunky and the ending double chorus doesn't work. But I think this song has potential. It just needed more time; perhaps I will revisit it at a later date.

As for now, though, it's time to move on to #19.

PLAY:



CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

Black-ribbon road is stretching out
The tank's at two-o-clock; it's getting late
Sundown glow ahead of us
A burning torch that guides and lights our way
The desert wind, your summer dress:
I pretend I'm not staring at your legs
And as the headlights rise like fireflies
It's hard to hide the smile upon my face

Worn maps show us the way back
But not where we're at
I don't think it matters now.
Right here: bare feet on the dash
That way that she laughs
All we need's right here on this side of the glass

We could drive for miles and miles
but we both know that we're already there
This journey is the destination
so where we end up I don't really care

Song #17: Hang

So far in this project I've put my own spin on reggae, alt-country, ballads, old-school R&B, rockers, and more. Yet this week as I was hearing this melody, I knew I had to go a totally new direction that I hadn't touched on yet: club synth-pop. Go ahead and be a hater but don't act like you're not dancing in your recliner right now.

PLAY:



CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

can you hang? can you hang with me?
do you have what it takes to try and handle me?
can you feel? can you feel deeply?
'cause I give all I've got and won't take less, see:

I can't give you all the money but you can trust that I will rock your soul - so let go
it will be good, it will be often and when it's through I promise that you will know

hang on for the ride
of your life
if you're going my way you must be able to hang
hang on for the ride
of your life
I know just want I want, I want you,
but only if you can hang

can you respect? will you respect me?
cause I respect myself and won't take less, see
still want in? let's see if you fit
I don't play hard to get, girl I am hard to get

Song #16: Warriors

"Some men will go in once, twice, even three times. But a warrior is in this for good... 'I'm not going anywhere. This is my place in the battle. This is the hill that I will die on.' The universe is so vast and so ageless that the life of one man can only be justified by the measure of his sacrifice." [John Eldredge / others, Wild at Heart]

"Rise and rise again / until lambs become lions" [Robin Hood]

We live in interesting times as it relates to masculinity. On one hand factors like political correctness and new age pop psychology have asked us to tone it down, making men safe, soft... nice. On the other hand there seems to be a resurgence in the reclaiming of timeless masculine virtues such as moral integrity, leadership, character, decision making, presence, adventurousness and dependability.

The thing is, there are so many traps for men. It's simply not hard at all to give into apathy, boredom, going for the easy lay, quick surrender or waiting on others to do what we would not. I've seen men fall all around me, bodies everywhere from poor choices or a lack of presence; Hell, I've fallen myself. The truth is we all make poor decisions. And there's freedom and grace there for sure. The ultimate question is what do we do then?

Fortunately, I've also been blessed to be surrounded with some key men who have intentionally chosen a life of integrity and uprightness, no matter the personal cost. As John Eldredge has written - most men want to be knights, but most do not want to bleed like one. This song is for those who do.

On a production note, this track won't be hitting the pop charts any time soon. It takes nearly 6 minutes to flesh out and is of a quite different scope than what I normally write (except for maybe "The Attic"). That said, it's a perspective that needed to be shared and it took an epic-sized arrangement in order to give it the weight I felt the subject deserved. I wish I had more than a few short hours this week to give this song more attention, but such are the "rules" of this project.

PLAY:



CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

when the bullets start to fly and they will
when the passion fires die and they will
when the storm threatens all that is known, what then?
where are the warriors? where are the men?

when the pain casts a shadow on love
when the fruit dangles just within reach above
when all around they're taken down in their sin
where are the warriors? where are the men?

and they will be called oaks of righteousness

when a wife is growing tired of being used
when she longs to have her heart be pursued
when all hope is drying up once again
where are the warriors? where are the men?

while the world looks for a leader to steer,
lesser men are taking shelter in fear
who will rise and go to fight or defend?
where are the warriors? where are the men?

and they will be called oaks of righteousness

---

what's your heart worth to you?
where's your peace of mind?
either way you're going to lose sleep
but you lose less when you do things right

we will stand; we will not be moved

we are the warriors

---

and they will be called oaks of righteousness

Song #15: Give It Anyway

Someone once told me: "love is not 50-50; it's not even 100-100. It's 100-0." Maybe. It's certainly noble, and it's the very definition of unconditional love: I expect nothing in return. My loving you has nothing at all to do with me or my needs, it's all about the betterment of you. It's the giving - never in spite of or in injury towards self, but rather with any notion of return completely unconsidered.

A friend of mine asked me recently, "What is the fine line between being a devoted unconditional loving partner and a doormat?" I don't propose to fully know how to answer that question or want to unpack it here, but it has something to do with one's intention or motivation. In this song, a couple have been awarded wisdom after many years together doing what Andy Stanley calls "putting your deal before my deal." Everyone at their core is looking out for #1. What is the only way around that while still maintaining long-term relationships? The resolve of commitment and the decision of grace.

PLAY:



CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

We're learning to live in grace
We're learning to give when it's all been given away
When the well has run dry, or the tank has no space
We give it anyway

Another year, a quicker pace
Another war, an older face
Have things our way and plead our case
Or serve and die to ourselves and finish the race

We're learning to live in grace
We're learning to give when it's all been given away
When the well has run dry, or the tank has no space
We give it anyway

Because we know; that we could love
and be loved by anyone
It's in our choice; we'll tie this knot
And decide to love, love the one we've got

We're learning to live in grace
We're learning to give when it's all been given away
When the well has run dry, or the tank has no space
We give it anyway

And though it often takes hard work to patch up all these holes and splintered cracks
There is a cement that holds, unbreakable that runs along the back

We're learning to live in grace
We're learning to give when it's all been given away
When the well has run dry, or the tank has no space
Give it anyway; give it anyway

Song #14: It's Ok

I've always found it odd to see a couple who were once crazy for one another grow to become enemies in the end. No doubt there are often real reasons for that, but just as often that rage is simply a defense mechanism. After all, if a scorned lover's feelings are not reciprocated, it's easier to demonize the other person than to live with the pain of rejection.

Thankfully at this point in my life, this isn't my personal reality. But I really had fun this week climbing into this character's shoes and stirring up some longing mixed with gritty vindictiveness. And for some reason with this theme I felt the need to set it to a 60's R&B style - complete with flute and strings.

Waiter, I'll have a plate of Unrequited Love with a side of Bitterness. ;-)

PLAY:



CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

it's ok, I get it
this is all for the best
we're just growing in different directions
it is what it is... (I guess...)

you deserve to be happy (you tell me all the time)
I deserve to be blessed
we'll just do that in separate locations
from now on... (I guess...)

you have given me your thousand reasons why
we should now give up the fight
but I... oh I

I don't know how to give up on you
I just can't put this love up on a shelf as if I'm through
but I guess that it's time to tell you goodbye
thanks for making that easy to do

no it's ok I'm not bitter
I'm ok, can't you tell?
(it's just the fruit of your vine makes me break out in hives,
and with each passing day I get colder as well)

see I have learned that just to get by
to only look at those things that I don't like

I don't know how to give up on you
I just can't put this love up on a shelf as if I'm through
but I guess that it's time to tell you goodbye
'cause you're making that easy to do

it's ok, I get it
I'm ok, can't you tell?

Song #13: Dive In

"Natural forces flow between two poles. The north and south poles of the earth create a force of magnetism. The positive and negative poles of your electrical outlet or car battery create an electrical flow. In the same way, masculine and feminine poles between people create the flow of sexual polarity." {David Deida}

PLAY:



CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

wet from the shower and dancing alone
she hops on the bed there and picks up her phone
she is pecking a text in and painting her toes
slick with a gloss that's between red and rose

she laughs easy and often; keeps herself in check
she can slay with a look, or endear with a kiss
she is certainly woman, a hot fired gun
a feminine blessing that glows like the sun

and somewhere deep within this man
where hunger, sex and power begin
a primal passion's begging me to merge

and dive in
and dive in

I'm a man, I'm not sorry; I am just what she needs
to blow her world open to places she's never been
and she knows she can't play me or fight till I fold
but like a haven or harbor, she is safe here - safe and at home

from somewhere deep within her heart
she breathes the strength that I impart
a passion stirs and begs her to merge

and dive in
and dive in

a force of passion arcs between
creates the sparks we feel and see
the you, the me become the we
we come together and dive in

and dive in
and dive in

Song #12: Amphetamine

The character in this song seems to have climatized to a life of loss. Like any of us, of course he doesn't desire brokenness but his attitudes and beliefs attract it time and again. And time and again, instead of dealing with these things head on, he tends to default to two coping mechanisms: self-medication and running away. "Amphetamine" is a dark song about a shell of a man, hardly someone worth admiring. And yet there's sympathy there, knowing that we all deal with loss and difficulty in our own variations of these ways. Part of me wants to scream at him - "it's worth the risk" - but he'll either toughen up and figure that on his own... or he won't.

On a production note, this is the first song so far that I've directly worked with another individual in the creation process. Music college friend, writing partner and excellent songwriter/performer Joe Aielli had the piano intro and idea for this song years ago. We've worked it on and off for a while but I knew when I began this love-themed writing project, this song would have to be revisited and finished.

Oh, and please swing by Joe's page and become a fan of his well-crafted music: www.facebook.com/joeaielli

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

she called me in and said I'm leaving
just like so many girls before
and once again I think that love, it ain't the answer
'cause what's united can be torn

friends and lovers, ya who needs 'em?
it just hurts too much to say goodbye anymore
well i've got all the ways I need to ease the pain
and they come out to play when it begins to storm

I think love is an amphetamine running through my head
just a high that becomes tomorrow's tears
I think love is an amphetamine,
so now I'm on my way until it all just disappears

as the dust blows up behind me
I can't think about all the people I left behind
what you call love I call the thing that trips me up
I'd rather move ahead alone and undefined

yes, I think love is an amphetamine running through my head
just a high that becomes tomorrow's tears
I think love is an amphetamine,
so now I'm on my way until it all just disappears

and when I take the pill I'm standing on top of the world
unconscious to the crowd below
but without fail, in time, I always come crashing down
it lifts me up and leaves me low

will i always think love is an amphetamine?
will i ever let anyone draw near?
see I think love is an amphetamine
so now I'm on my way until it all just disappears
you may live in love, but I live in fear
so I'll get the hell on out of here

Song #11: All of It

Turn on any pop radio these days and you're likely to hear Bruno Mars crooning about how his girl is "amazing... just the way [she is]." While it's a great song, what irks me is that he praises only her wonderful qualities and how great he makes her feel. The thing is - once you get past the initial stages of dating, no one is all bubbles and unicorns all the time - even the most beautiful woman on the planet. Once lusty attraction turns into a committed relationship, some of the more... hidden... sides of our character start to rear their heads. This is where love begins to replace lust: when we begin to accept and even love ALL that makes someone who they are, rough edges and all.

I thought it'd be fun to write an honest song that challenged the Bruno Mars track - praising a lover's "shadow side" and loving someone TRULY "just the way they are."

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

I could write a thousand lines
about your hair, about your smile
it's true you are beautiful the way that you are
but we've all got our shadow side:
bad mood and fears and age-worn lines
and just as many times as you make me laugh,
you can be a real pain in the ass

your tears mix with makeup and create a mess
you're out late with friends sending drunken texts
you kick back at home in old baggy sweats
and I just can't get enough of you

and I choose all of it
I'll take all of you
if it weren't for all of it,
you wouldn't be you,
and I wouldn't know what to do

the worst thing I could ever dream
is your compromising anything for me
you were fine before you even knew my name
so don't you dare go change a thing
or settle for less than amazing
and I promise you that I'll do the same

so what if it's been months since you touched a broom
and damn girl if you can't clear a room
I just can't get enough of you

and I choose all of it
I'll take all of you
if it weren't for all of it,
you wouldn't be you,
and I wouldn't know what to do

you sure clean up nice when you go out to dance
but I like you in that tank top and those yoga pants
it's safe to say I'm your biggest fan
and I just can't get enough of you

I choose all of it
I'll take all of you
If it weren't for all of it,
you wouldn't be you,
and I wouldn't know what,
no i wouldn't know what to do

Song #10: I See You Sitting There

"A child's spirit is like a child, you can never catch it by running after it; you must stand still, and, for love, it will soon itself come back."
(Arthur Miller)

One Saturday afternoon I was watching my five-year-old daughter playing and realized I had never written a song for her. I grabbed my guitar and a pen and "I See You Sitting There" was written right there on the spot.

NOTE: I'm cheating a bit on my rule of writing one NEW song each week, as I wrote this piece several months ago. When I initially finished this, I shared it with a few of my close friends, but am now finally releasing it publicly since I've been on vacation for the holidays.

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

I see you sitting there
In your painted chair
You've got your dolls out
Fingers in your mouth

I see you sitting there
In your ballet tights,
it's almost time to say goodnight

And when I catch your eyes
I can see that life's worthwhile
Couldn't be more proud of you
And your precious smile

I never knew I could fall in love
so quickly, so fiercely with someone
You are my favorite blessing from God

I see you dancing there
Twirling around the chairs
It nearly makes me cry
You got your mama's eyes
And your pretty face
Is lighting up the room

I know it's cliche to say it:
But I don't know when you got so big
Makes me want to hold on to just this moment
It too will go with the wind

I never knew I could fall in love
so quickly, so fiercely with someone
You are my favorite blessing from God

Sweetheart when you get older,
I will still remember all these times

I see you lying there
You got your PJs on
One foot hanging out
From that ratty old blanket you drag along
I say a prayer for you
And kiss you on the head

I never knew I could fall in love
so quickly, so fiercely with someone
You are my favorite blessing from God

Song #8: Wild Abandon

"The whole business of love is to drown in the sea."
[Rumi, 13th century Persian mystic & poet]

I'm starting to see how self-consciousness, fear and reservation are all enemies of love. Sometimes we frown upon people who live wide open and want them to "get themselves together" or to "listen to reason" - but passion can't be reasoned with. I know I've had those thoughts - and I'm starting to wonder if perhaps it's jealousy? This song tells the story of a woman who lives and loves to the fullest... refusing to play it safe... no holding back. I think we all want to be a little more like that.

LYRICS: reason knows the way
yet she is always lost
reason runs away
but she can't get enough
she's drowning in this love
swallowed up by the sea

reason takes a break
she wants to go again
reason shies from pain
she takes it on the chin
she's drowning in this love
swallowed up by the sea

and naturally
she just wants to be
swept beneath, yes
reckless and free with
wild abandon, wild abandon
she is the shade and love is the tree
if she ain't free it's all for nothing
wild abandon, wild abandon

when reason calls out, "no"
she replies, "I must"
reason turns the nose
her passion is a musk
she's drowning in this love
swallowed up by the sea

and naturally
she just wants to be
swept beneath, yes
reckless and free with
wild abandon, wild abandon
she is the shade and love is the tree
if she ain't free it's all for nothing
wild abandon, wild abandon

and secretly
we all want to be
swept beneath, yes
reckless and free with
wild abandon, wild abandon
we are the shade and love is the tree
if we ain't free it's all for nothing
wild abandon, wild abandon

no holding back, no holding back

Song #7: Home to You

The last few songs have been pretty thematically heavy, so this week I wanted to do something a little more light-hearted. Enjoy...

PLAY:

LYRICS:

good morning sweetheart,
I hope you slept well
had to leave for work early,
didn't want you to worry,
but there is something that I wanted to tell you
because it's true:
that my favorite part of leaving every day is coming back home to you

I may be out there
on the other side of town
working hard in my office
with profits and losses
but all I'll be able to do is spend my time
thinking through
what I'm gonna do to you tonight when I return home to you

and just like this morning light
filters in through the blinds
and rests on your hips and closed eyes
I'm gonna be on you, when the day is through
so all day just keep that in mind

I die a little every day
to leave you there sleeping
it's just the world needs me
but before i go let me say:
you're way friggin' cute...
and this too: 
I just can't wait to see your smiling face when I get back home to you

see you tonight, lovely
hope this made you smile
and as you go through the day
know that not far away
some crazy fool thinks the world, the world of you,
yes, it's true
and that his favorite part of leaving every day is coming back home to you
it makes life worth livin' in the knowing I get to come back home to you