Song #51: La Pelea

"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent." [Victor Hugo]

Having covered a wide spectrum of genres and textures in "One Love, One Year," as I begin to bring it to a close I find there are still infinite ways that music can speak to us about love. Sometimes - maybe many times - raw, composed, instrumental music can express depths that lyrics and sung words cannot quite reach.

This week I dusted off a classical piano piece that I spent many, many hours composing years ago and finished it up to incorporate into this project. As with anything of this nature, it is open to a variety of interpretations, but to me this piece speaks to love as a sort of violent, yet sweetly playful tussle -- often oscillating between order and chaos, majesty and misery, clarity and confusion.

"The inexpressible depth of music, so easy to understand and yet so inexplicable, is due to the fact that it reproduces all the emotions of our innermost being..." [Oliver Sacks]

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Song #50: Deranged

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most people think of love as full of light, joy and positivity. But there is a darker side, that of obsession, craving, intense desire and even torment. Not that those are "bad" things; they are in fact quite delicious... a "burning, yearning devotion" that is felt very deeply.

I don't know whether my mind was subconsciously picking up on all the spooky vibes this time of year or whether it's a cool coincidence, but the fact that Halloween is this week makes this song's lyrics and musical vibe timely and appropriate. Happy Halloween, y'all. I don't have any candy but here's a song for you...

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LYRICS:

i am affected, call it wrecked, kid
i am obsessively, madly out of my he-ead
i'm goin' crazy, the way she slays me
i'd make u jealous if I told you how she plays me

it keeps building and building and building up,
and now the volcano's about to erupt
bewitching; she's got me wishing
for an end to all the love spells that she's dishing

what sort of cosmic commotion did i make to deserve this
(that) even when she's gone i am haunted by her ghost?
a boon to give my life back; resurrect my heart
she's a goddess or a demon and either way i'm toast

i'm not superstitious but the jist is
she is enchanting and magically delicious
where did she come from? man I don't know
maybe above... maybe below...

i'm unhinged, unzipped, unbalanced, unglued,
she drives a brother batty and I think that I'm screwed
but i like it, i'll take the pain,
even if i end up quite deranged

Song #45: Fireball

I knew that I had come face to face with someone whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself.
[Oscar Wilde]

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LYRICS:

There are thousands of beautiful girls, thousands of shallow pools,
but with her it's different, with her - she's endlessly cool
I think about her all of the time, I recognize the worth in her eyes
And each time we connect we go deeper than we thought we could

She's a fireball, a tempest storm, but I won't quit, no
'Cause I am up for the challenge, gonna show her I can handle it
So let's go, let's go

I had started to lose faith in the world,
didn't think that it made this kind of girl
But then she came out of nowhere and changed up all of the rules
It is gonna take a strong kind of man,
To stand firm while she does her dance
And while others couldn't make it, I am gonna prove that I can

She's a fireball, a tempest storm, but I won't quit, no
'Cause I am up for the challenge, gonna show her I can handle it
So let's go, let's go

I'm longing
to know her heart, to love her flaws,
to touch her body, to shatter her walls
I am all the way in, I won't flinch,
she's worth the fight, she's worth my time,
when you're given a gift, you treat it right

She's a fireball, a tempest storm, but I won't quit, no
'Cause I am up for the challenge, gonna show her I can handle it
So let's go, what are we waiting for?

Song #40: (Stay In Your) Embrace

"Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you."
[Jacques Prévert, poet/screenwriter]

As Mr. Prévert says, there is nothing quite like the closeness and intimacy found in lingering in timeless, affectionate embraces. Still, at some point you've gotta get up and get back to living. This song suggests the romantic notion that even though apart, you're still held in that person's embrace.

The lyrics this week were co-written by writer/actor/artist (and good friend) Benjamin Madrid, whose poem (Stay In Your Embrace) provided the inspiration - and many of the lines - for this song.

Musically this track is a throw-back to the 80's radio pop ballads that many of us grew up with (a la Genesis / Phil Collins / Peter Gabriel). It just might transport you back to 1986 if you're not careful...

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LYRICS:

Sometimes in your embrace
I leave my body and walk outside,
Peer in the window, watch us lying face to face
Faded lines remain where the tears have dried

I could take that scene anywhere
The room could change all over
the outside of it too
Another house, another city, it doesn't matter, there's you
The distances between are only lies

Let's get to dancing
We can't always lay around
But now that I know what I have found
I'll walk the wire and not look down
As long as I can still
Stay in your embrace

We can let the aging take it's toll
Watch my hair turn grey, I'll watch your skin turn old
Another time, another setting, it doesn't matter I'm told
When you're hanging on so tight you can't let go

Song #36: Bliss (You Take Me There)

Love has the capability of taking us - or rather opening us - further than we could ever hope to go on our own.

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LYRICS:

There's a bliss that most will never know
There's a depth that most will never go
There's a place for which the angels groan
Now I know, I know

You take me there

There's a touch, makes me glad to be alive
There's a path into the heart of God
There's a taste thick like the richest spice
Now I know, I know

You take me there

Going deeper, pure surrender
Going deeper, pure surrender

You take me there

Song #30: Unbound

"There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip away another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." [Yaldah Tovah]

LYRICS:

Her hand pierces the atmosphere
Her body's below the ground
Screaming and kicking for some air
No one hears a sound
An angel appears before her there
And pins her to the ground
Screaming and kicking for some air
The earth's at last unbound

Follow my hand, I will lead you
Put you in the places I need to
To know you even better than you do

Birds and planes falling from the air
She's taken by the force
A sharp surrender, a fist of hair
She trusts a little more
Drinking deep from the cup of life
A kiss becomes a vow
We know the edge but we walk the line
All time melts into now

Song #28: Strange Love

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!” [Jack Kerouac]

It's been said that the opposite of fear is love. And though it's human nature to make the majority of life decisions based (subtly) on fear, I've been lucky enough to know a handful of people who have chosen to live a life that is moved more by the power of love. These are the unique ones: those who march to a different drummer, those who swim against the current and who make their own way. We find ourselves attracted to these people because they do what most are afraid to do: buck convention and make the choice to live freely from passion, or a deep love for life, rather than from conditioning.

This is a strange, unusual little song for those who need the encouragement to live out of that kind of strange, unusual love.

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LYRICS:

There's something in the way that we move
Something in the things that we choose
Like how we live as if there's nothing left to lose
That stirs them up inside
There's something in the way that we live
Something in the way that we give
The way we turned our backs and took our own path
That gives them hope for life

So let the haters be hatin'
This is the road that we're takin
It's not the path they created
Like hell, we just made it
like cheese we be gratin'
On all the nerves of the straight
But don't be jealous or fake it
We just used what we're made of

Watch us rock the stage we give everything we've got
We are everything you want, we are everything they're not
What are you afraid of? Would you like to join us?
So stand up make it known just what it is that you want
All we have is yours and all we have is fun
Then bury all that old stuff; come on now and join us
Those living with a strange love

Song #26: I'm Ready

There's a lot going on in this song, but to me the essence of "I'm Ready" speaks to knowing that something isn't quite right but still being drawn to it. It's about making your bed in the confusion... the lure of the forbidden... the play between resistance and secretly longing to have your self-protective walls blasted through.

I was privileged this week to have worked with a cowriter - Orlando, FL artist, painter, model, yogini and all around beautiful soul Julie Sandifer, who penned these lyrics and helped in the creative process. Julie infuses wisdom and passion into all of her art, which is made obvious in these powerful words. If you would like to see more of Julie's work, click to visit her blog or paintings.

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LYRICS:

so here I am again. ready. I think I'm ready.
who ever said that love was supposed to be so pure and healthy?
there's love in the chaos; love in the greedy need
how do we forget the past when the memories are so deep?

some hearts open slowly
mine is open freely
but it shuts quickly

I invite you in. you don't want me. you want in.
I can't want you - what is this?
simple it is not. fearless it is not. intense it is.

so here I am again. ready. I think I'm ready
turn me on. turn it off. i need both.
earthy, lusty, - more more more
stay close. encourage me to let go. my heart is full.

dedicated and all is love
somethings are not meant to be figured out, right love?
so tell me; I want you to tell me

I invite you in. you don't want me. you want in.
I can't want you - what is this?
simple it is not. fearless it is not. intense it is.

no symmetry, lovesick lover
be worthy. try harder.
you can't go wrong.
do more more more -

I invite you in. you don't want me. you want in.
I can't want you - what is this?
simple it is not. fearless it is not. intense it is.

so here I am again. ready. I think I'm ready.
I hope I never have to say goodbye.

Song #19: Through the Eyes

So through the eyes love attains the heart:
for the eyes are the scouts of the heart,
and the eyes go reconnoitering
for what it would please the heart to possess.

[Guiraut De Borneilh]

I was introduced to this poem in Joseph Campbell's Power of Myth series. Its author, Guiraut De Borneilh, was considered the "Master of the Troubadors" - those musician-poets of the 12th century who are historically noted for romanticising love. It's such a beautiful and striking work that speaks deeply and poetically of what draws two individuals together. This week's song is a modern homage to this poem and the original songwriters of love. 

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LYRICS:

She dreamed of truly being seen
When she popped up on my fine-tuned radar screen
I watched her staring back at me
And what happened right then and there is a mystery

For as all true lovers know
It's in our eyes, it's through our eyes
Love is born in seeds of hope,
a perfect kindness
And that root will sprout and grow
Starts in our eyes, it's through our eyes
And this fruit will speak it so
within the silence

This gaze locked hers and that was it
As I mowed her back and through without a flinch
A heart slain, pierced; her deepest wish,
She coyly turned away, as in a kiss

Like a gift unto the heart
The eyes have whispered who you are
The heart draws near what once was far

Song #17: Hang

So far in this project I've put my own spin on reggae, alt-country, ballads, old-school R&B, rockers, and more. Yet this week as I was hearing this melody, I knew I had to go a totally new direction that I hadn't touched on yet: club synth-pop. Go ahead and be a hater but don't act like you're not dancing in your recliner right now.

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LYRICS:

can you hang? can you hang with me?
do you have what it takes to try and handle me?
can you feel? can you feel deeply?
'cause I give all I've got and won't take less, see:

I can't give you all the money but you can trust that I will rock your soul - so let go
it will be good, it will be often and when it's through I promise that you will know

hang on for the ride
of your life
if you're going my way you must be able to hang
hang on for the ride
of your life
I know just want I want, I want you,
but only if you can hang

can you respect? will you respect me?
cause I respect myself and won't take less, see
still want in? let's see if you fit
I don't play hard to get, girl I am hard to get

Song #13: Dive In

"Natural forces flow between two poles. The north and south poles of the earth create a force of magnetism. The positive and negative poles of your electrical outlet or car battery create an electrical flow. In the same way, masculine and feminine poles between people create the flow of sexual polarity." {David Deida}

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LYRICS:

wet from the shower and dancing alone
she hops on the bed there and picks up her phone
she is pecking a text in and painting her toes
slick with a gloss that's between red and rose

she laughs easy and often; keeps herself in check
she can slay with a look, or endear with a kiss
she is certainly woman, a hot fired gun
a feminine blessing that glows like the sun

and somewhere deep within this man
where hunger, sex and power begin
a primal passion's begging me to merge

and dive in
and dive in

I'm a man, I'm not sorry; I am just what she needs
to blow her world open to places she's never been
and she knows she can't play me or fight till I fold
but like a haven or harbor, she is safe here - safe and at home

from somewhere deep within her heart
she breathes the strength that I impart
a passion stirs and begs her to merge

and dive in
and dive in

a force of passion arcs between
creates the sparks we feel and see
the you, the me become the we
we come together and dive in

and dive in
and dive in

Song #8: Wild Abandon

"The whole business of love is to drown in the sea."
[Rumi, 13th century Persian mystic & poet]

I'm starting to see how self-consciousness, fear and reservation are all enemies of love. Sometimes we frown upon people who live wide open and want them to "get themselves together" or to "listen to reason" - but passion can't be reasoned with. I know I've had those thoughts - and I'm starting to wonder if perhaps it's jealousy? This song tells the story of a woman who lives and loves to the fullest... refusing to play it safe... no holding back. I think we all want to be a little more like that.

LYRICS: reason knows the way
yet she is always lost
reason runs away
but she can't get enough
she's drowning in this love
swallowed up by the sea

reason takes a break
she wants to go again
reason shies from pain
she takes it on the chin
she's drowning in this love
swallowed up by the sea

and naturally
she just wants to be
swept beneath, yes
reckless and free with
wild abandon, wild abandon
she is the shade and love is the tree
if she ain't free it's all for nothing
wild abandon, wild abandon

when reason calls out, "no"
she replies, "I must"
reason turns the nose
her passion is a musk
she's drowning in this love
swallowed up by the sea

and naturally
she just wants to be
swept beneath, yes
reckless and free with
wild abandon, wild abandon
she is the shade and love is the tree
if she ain't free it's all for nothing
wild abandon, wild abandon

and secretly
we all want to be
swept beneath, yes
reckless and free with
wild abandon, wild abandon
we are the shade and love is the tree
if we ain't free it's all for nothing
wild abandon, wild abandon

no holding back, no holding back

Song #5: I Want Love

"The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and beget."
[William Osler]

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LYRICS:

if I could be honest
if I could tell the truth
I am getting bothered
by the thought of you

just don't you forget
that I am a man
and I have needs too

I need love, love, love
give me love, love, love
I want love, love, love
from you

so reach out and touch me
or I will make a move
I am right here, hungry
I have an ache to soothe

there just aren't words
to say how much I burn
but I'd be glad to show you

I need love, love, love
give me love, love, love
I want love, love, love
from you

I am haunted by the scent
of the back of your neck
why are you so damn far away?
I feel like reaching out to you
and pouring me out
could you come over and stay?
why don't you come and stay?
'cause I need you now...

I need love, love, love
give me love, love, love
I want love, love, love
from you