Song #28: Strange Love

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!” [Jack Kerouac]

It's been said that the opposite of fear is love. And though it's human nature to make the majority of life decisions based (subtly) on fear, I've been lucky enough to know a handful of people who have chosen to live a life that is moved more by the power of love. These are the unique ones: those who march to a different drummer, those who swim against the current and who make their own way. We find ourselves attracted to these people because they do what most are afraid to do: buck convention and make the choice to live freely from passion, or a deep love for life, rather than from conditioning.

This is a strange, unusual little song for those who need the encouragement to live out of that kind of strange, unusual love.

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

There's something in the way that we move
Something in the things that we choose
Like how we live as if there's nothing left to lose
That stirs them up inside
There's something in the way that we live
Something in the way that we give
The way we turned our backs and took our own path
That gives them hope for life

So let the haters be hatin'
This is the road that we're takin
It's not the path they created
Like hell, we just made it
like cheese we be gratin'
On all the nerves of the straight
But don't be jealous or fake it
We just used what we're made of

Watch us rock the stage we give everything we've got
We are everything you want, we are everything they're not
What are you afraid of? Would you like to join us?
So stand up make it known just what it is that you want
All we have is yours and all we have is fun
Then bury all that old stuff; come on now and join us
Those living with a strange love

Song #25: The King

"Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye named, not good."
[John Milton]

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

Roll in the driveway
and place it in park
There isn't a light on
The house is all dark
There's nobody home
and I pretend it doesn't matter
but it does

No snoring little babies
tucked up under blankies
No one through the window
Or assuring embraces
No "I'm glad to see you"
and I pretend it's for a reason
but it's not

So I pour me a whisky
and get a little bit silly
because if I start to thinking
who knows where that will take me

I picked up my ink pen
to write up this song
and I just keep on writing
so the music won't stop
'cause when the music ain't playing
all I can hear is the fridge
and the dogs

So I toss back more whisky
before I start wondering if you miss me
And if this is how it's got to be
At least I can set myself free

This is a cell
My own private silent hell
This is my life, serving my time, these are my shackles
And here I am king
For as far as the eye can see this is my land,
and I am the king of an empty castle

So I strip down to nothing
and lie in my bed
there's a space on the mattress
there's a buzz in my head
The quiet gets louder
and I pretend it doesn't matter
but it does

This quiet gets louder
and I pretend it doesn't matter
but it does

Song #20: Rise (and Rise Again)

Remember the Choose Your Own Adventure books? There were multiple directions you could take at the end of the chapters, each resulting in different outcomes. In "Amphetamine" (week 12) the singer, after facing the loss of love, totally gave up, shut down and escaped into fantasy. This week I wanted to write an alternate ending.

What would it look like for someone who had once "climatized to a life of loss" found the inner strength to face the pain, overcome obstacles and, with confidence, tread into an uncertain future? What would it look like to take a once dead heart and set it on fire again?

Musically, I'm not sure how you would categorize this song except for experimental. It's different and won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it's what came out.

And besides, if they need a theme song for Rocky VII, I've got them covered.

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

A place for everything, everything in its place
Got it all locked down; going to hold control over all of my space
Ain't gonna rock the boat, going to minimize the pain,
Chain my desire and lock it all away

Well it's fear that holds me down and feigns as safe
And I have played the role of a passive man all of my days
If I'm ever gonna live, gonna have to put that mask away
And rise up from the ashes and take my place

Rise and rise again,
make a lion from this lamb
There's a battle to fight
A war to be won
I'm here to make my stand
With violence I crush my fear
and step out off that ledge
Though bloodied from battle, I will not run,
I rise and rise again

Well I told myself I'd never love again
After being burned, why would I walk into the fire again?
But the time for safe has ended, and it's ending here, today
I rise up from the ashes and stake my claim

Song #12: Amphetamine

The character in this song seems to have climatized to a life of loss. Like any of us, of course he doesn't desire brokenness but his attitudes and beliefs attract it time and again. And time and again, instead of dealing with these things head on, he tends to default to two coping mechanisms: self-medication and running away. "Amphetamine" is a dark song about a shell of a man, hardly someone worth admiring. And yet there's sympathy there, knowing that we all deal with loss and difficulty in our own variations of these ways. Part of me wants to scream at him - "it's worth the risk" - but he'll either toughen up and figure that on his own... or he won't.

On a production note, this is the first song so far that I've directly worked with another individual in the creation process. Music college friend, writing partner and excellent songwriter/performer Joe Aielli had the piano intro and idea for this song years ago. We've worked it on and off for a while but I knew when I began this love-themed writing project, this song would have to be revisited and finished.

Oh, and please swing by Joe's page and become a fan of his well-crafted music: www.facebook.com/joeaielli

PLAY:

CLICK HERE to download this song for free

LYRICS:

she called me in and said I'm leaving
just like so many girls before
and once again I think that love, it ain't the answer
'cause what's united can be torn

friends and lovers, ya who needs 'em?
it just hurts too much to say goodbye anymore
well i've got all the ways I need to ease the pain
and they come out to play when it begins to storm

I think love is an amphetamine running through my head
just a high that becomes tomorrow's tears
I think love is an amphetamine,
so now I'm on my way until it all just disappears

as the dust blows up behind me
I can't think about all the people I left behind
what you call love I call the thing that trips me up
I'd rather move ahead alone and undefined

yes, I think love is an amphetamine running through my head
just a high that becomes tomorrow's tears
I think love is an amphetamine,
so now I'm on my way until it all just disappears

and when I take the pill I'm standing on top of the world
unconscious to the crowd below
but without fail, in time, I always come crashing down
it lifts me up and leaves me low

will i always think love is an amphetamine?
will i ever let anyone draw near?
see I think love is an amphetamine
so now I'm on my way until it all just disappears
you may live in love, but I live in fear
so I'll get the hell on out of here