Song #29: Be Free

There's always another side to the story.

A friend of mine this week reminded me that most "lost love" songs are from the perspective of the one who has been broken up with. What about the one who had to do the heartbreaking?

We often think that the one who ended things is in control and walks off mostly unscathed, but that is far from the truth. It can be a hot mess of emotions for both parties. The irony is - the singer here doesn't hate the person he's breaking up with... not at all. There's still genuine love and concern for the one he's leaving behind. But he also senses that it's not right enough to continue, even as the other person is trying everything they can to keep it from dying.

PLAY:

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LYRICS:

don't let yourself believe
this is all easy on me
just because I'm the one who chose to leave
doesn't mean that I missed out on all the guilt and the grief

I don't want to be cold but I'm all ice
'cause if I let you in or even just be nice
you get your hopes up
and we both know
that this ain't right
so if it has to be me: I love you, be free

the truth is it was killing me to stay
so for now, dear, this is the only way
and though I've nothing bad to say
there's some walls I'm going to have to put into place

I don't want to be cold but I'm all ice
'cause if I let you in or just even be nice
you get your hopes up
and we both know
that this isn't right
and if it has to be me: I love you, be free

I don't think you're listening to me: I'm done
it was not meant to be, though we had fun
maybe one day you'll see: I still love you...

be free...

Comments

[Benjamin]

Emapthy. Putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Selflessness.

I always use the analogy of putting my son on Criagslist and trading him, because he can't do what I think a little boy should do. Even the thought of it, hurts to say, feels so wrong. What a terrible father and human I would be. It's true no? It's an extreme but it gets a point across. Breakups are different than selling your child on Craigslist, or wounding a family member. True love endures. It's selfless. It's effort, and very rarely does it feel 'fair', 'right', 'even' or 'good'. What I'm getting at is 'Divorce' vs. 'Breakups'. Totally different ball park, not even the same game. Do I understand how a person could get to the end of a road they no longer see it continuing? Yes, I do it all the time. My son, strikes out a lot at baseball games. My daughter gets a charge of minor consumption. But I pick back up, I try to teach them. I love them through it all. I believe in them, I give myself for them.
I think it's important to remember that commitment is about character, about who we are to be in God's eyes, the author of Love. I am surprised as anyone when I realized that Love isn't a feeling, that it takes some flat out obedience at times. That it's ugly. No one ever get's that tattoo, 'Love is ugly. I Love you.' So while a 'breakup' is perhaps about connection, I think 'Divorce' is about giving in, giving up, on yourself more than anyone else. If marriage were looked at as a commitment to God more than anything, then it would perhaps change our relationships. If we conditioned ourselves to ask 'What are you teaching me in this God? How can I be better for you?' To look no where but within us. I eat those words in humility as I say them, know that. I have no grounds to point. However, spilling the blood of someone else had better be an action of freeing yourself from death....not seeming death, actual death. Because true 'divorce' is death. You may walk alone after a divorce, but your only alone because your eyes are closed. Your dragging a whole lot of baggage behind you, and whats worse you've now added it to others. There's no room for love there, not even a little. It's much easier to right love songs as the one that has been left, because they get to wake up knowing they did not break their promises. On the other persons hand, there are no more mornings, no more looks in the mirror where that smile feels free and lite. Now there are scars, and even after the bleeding stops...you can always spot the scars.

[justlingeringthru]

Insane... Completely insane.... The one who gives up is the one who always says, "I can't" and never says, "I can" nor has the guts and strength to do whatever it takes to have the greatest love of all....GOD's Love...Unconditional love. I feel truly sorry for the person in this song....they had it all wrong.